Backcountry Does Halloween
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by Toni IsomOctober is an urgent month. Before the snow falls, you climb insatiably, trying to grope enough granite to quell your lust ‘til next season, and the first storms find you obsessively pursuing skiable stashes. Amidst these frantic forays, it’s easy to forget about coming up with a killer Halloween costume. Last year’s nudist-on-strike outfit was pretty clever, but that kind of slackage won’t fly twice.
So how do you come up with a cred-worthy costume without neglecting new snow or ditching out on the last desert camping trips? Easy—just use your gear. We came up with some costumes that’ll help get your idea-wheel reeling. WARNING: some of them appeal to the lowbrow crowd.
Cougar / Q-Tip
Glob on the makeup, glue on the ruby red fingernails, and grab the buttocks of any male under 30. This costume also doubles as ‘your mom’.
For the Q-Tip, blue base layers, a white beanie, and white booties are all you need. Don’t forget to swab your friends. Personal hygiene, people.
In this photo:
Cougar:
The North Face Isabel II Winter Boot
Also suggested:
Q-Tip:
Patagonia Capilene 4 Zip-Neck Top
The North Face NSE Tent Bootie II
Peeping Tom
A.k.a: ‘bird-watcher.’ This is one of your more versatile costumes. Trade the binoculars for a fanny pack, and you’re instantly a computer engineer who hangs out at the zoo on weekends.
In this photo:
Brunton Echo Compact Dual Hinge Binocular
G.I. Joe
Knowing is half the battle.
In this photo:
The North Face Monte Cargo Camo Pants
Central Park Flasher
Flashing is usually a male profession. But we didn’t have any men’s trench coats. If you’re too prudent to go commando under your jacket, wear some running clothes beneath it.
In this photo:
Also suggested:
Blundstone Footwear Original Boot
Oompah Loompah
The original Oompah Loompah is creepy enough, but this 6’4, mustachioed Oompah Loompah breeches a whole new realm of creepiness. Take it a step further by painting your face orange and getting a friend to dress up as a giant blueberry.
In this photo:
Mountain Hardwear Perpetual T-Shirt
Chimney Sweep / Ozone-Hole Survivor
Chim-chiminy, chim-chiminy, chim chim cheree, when you’re with a sweep, you’re in glad company… Add soot-colored face powder and a cockney accent for the full effect. If you happen to be Halloweening on the rooftops of London, watch out—Dick Van Dyke might challenge you to a sweep-off.
As for the ozone-hole survivor—there’s always someone who can’t pass up the opportunity to make a political/social/environmental statement with his or her costume. You might as well be that person.
In this photo:
Chimney sweep:
Ozone-hole survivor:
The Outdoor Research Sun Runner Cap
Columbia Silver Ridge III Shirt
Also suggested:
iPod Commercial
Gracing more than one party with your presence and don’t want to burn out your chimney sweep costume? Lose the cap and brush, crank up the club beats, and dance around with epileptic enthusiasm.
……
If anyone has to ask what you are, you’re Lieutenant Colonel Richard of the PEN 15 Platoon.
In this photo:
The North Face VaporWick Mira Crew
Crumpler Status Belly Messenger Bag
Abandoned Pixar Project
Make sure you play up the ‘unwanted brainchild’ angle. You’re not too good for some sexy pity are you?
In this photo:
Lumberjack
Or Canadian brain surgeon. Wa-wa … just kidding. We got nothin’ but love for our northern neighbors.
In this photo:
Columbia Rogue Plaid II Fleece Jacket
Carhartt Double-Front Washed Ducked Dungaree Work Pant
Also suggested:
Some other ideas we had were:
Cyborg
Black Diamond Telekneesis Knee Pad
Kahtoola MICROspikes Traction System
Jackie Onassis
Ninja
There you have it. Now go dig through your gear closet—and don’t disappoint this Halloween.